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(Norah's Letters)

Msg#: 5664 *INTERNET*
1mFrom mgrind1@awinc.com  


  i am in Kelowna, a small city in the 
Okanagan. It was a -More-6DKfun journey; I rode in a van 
with three guys who had interesting stories to tell. Leaving 
Vancouver was hard. I tried to sleep so I wouldn't be awake
thinking of you. I wasn't ready to leave you. I'm still not. 
I have an e-mail address in Kelowna. I use the above
address, my file is called "norah". They don't have graphic
interface but if you e-mail me grpahics I can load it onto a
disk and then take that disk to a print shop with a laser
copier. I'm trying to find work around Kelowna so I should
be here for a while.

  
        I saw the arctic circle on compuiserve!  I read what
you transcribed from our slackers party conversation on
Gustafsen Lake. I sure sound like a drunk valley girl! I
laughed and smiled, especially to see me brother and sister.
I tried to look at Transient Love, but the computer flipped
out at that time so I'm going to check it out today. For
some reason -More-6DKI can't get the pictures to become
films with action; the computer here gets annoyed and won't
do it. I'm learning the NEt fast though! Last night I was
one hour on the Net and today I'll be here a few hours. It's
four dollars an hour, which isn't too bad at all. I hope
your flight was okay. I love flying. Our flight from
Tuktoyaktuk was quite fun , definitely my favourite flight
so far. Being high in two very blissful ways, the rain, the
clouds. Sitting next to you and watching you watch the
storm. 

-------------------------------------------------------------


                it's monday morning and really feels a
helluva lot like monday morning. i'm in the internet cafe,
Billy Holliday is singing on the stereo.  I'm tired, dirty
and still jobless. BEing in this damn city still jobless on
the eleventh was not part of my plan. SUch is life.  THe
fruit picking started a little early, and there are tons of
other transients here for the same reason. Crazy as it is,
I'm tired of the scene of transient gatherings. It's mostly
young men. Lots of pot; I could be high all day every day. I
haven't been though. I said No three times yesterday!!
Yesterday Jess and I sold our beads in the city park. I made
fifty bucks, which is OK. Fifty bucks I didn't have before.
I was singing to myself all day, and occasionally with a
guitar when one appeared. Some guy heard me, and I've been
asked to sing with two jazzy blues guitarists who are trying
to get a trio going. I'm flattered. It'll be fun even if
nothing grandiose comes of it. I even showed him my very
limited voice range, but he said it didn't matter, that he
likes my raspy vibrato. 
        I ran into some old Bahai friends who have a flat in
town. They said I can rent wiht them for the nextmonth. It's
cheap, less than two hundred a month. The reason it's cheap
is that I don't have a room of my own. I'm taking over the
balcony. I tell myself this is the city version of camping.
I'm going to set up a card table for my beads and a mattress
for sleeping.
So now I'm a city resident! I looked at the big picture, and
I know I can make a lot more money waitressing than picking
fruit. I did a big job search Saturday, and it looks good.
It may take a week. I have a great connection and high hopes
for the Earls here. Remember Earls? We went there the first
night in Vancouver. Imagine me polished and grinning in that
atmosphere. I'd rather be strong and brown in an apple tree.
Dilemmas. I'll probably take two jobs in the city and bead
and bicycle in my other time. I have an Aunt, two cousins
and a grandmother in Kelowna also. My Aunt has suddenly
become very sick. Today she is going to the Neurologist for
tests. I'm worried. I love her. That has been a deciding
factor in my choice to stay in the city. I would like to be
close to her if she needs any help with her daughters  or
with housework.

        I love writing on the computer! It's so easy! THe
words just jump carzy fast out of my fingertips!! This is
highly journalistic. A little purging for me. Aaaaaaahhh....

        Last night Nicolas called! It was great to hear his
voice! It came back, his kindness, his quiet calm presence,
his silliness. He said he was in Alaska for a few days,
about three days I think. HE said America is not a nice
place to be with no money and a strong Quebecois accent. He
said he was so used to travelling with me that he was a
little lost alone. He was a day behind us in Whitehorse!
Crazy. He took the other road back, through the Cassiar
mountains. Then to Victoria on Vancouver Island, where he
got a lovely fat Welfare cheque. This week he'll be in the
Okanagan, visiting Jess and I. I'm tempted to road trip
around with him and screw working. Day by day I'll take it.

        Here's a shitty story. Last night I went to a tacky
bar with Jess and another friend Lisa. Lisa sold jewellry
all summer in the same park as Jess. Last night was an end
of the summer party. Four of us, all jewllery makers drank
apricot wine in the sun all day and hten headed to hte the
bar. I didn't drink much and didn't smoke any weed. Lisa was
bombed. At the end of the night, she couldn't walk but
wanted to drive home, about thirty miles. I chose to spend
the night in the city. I'd rather sleep on the sidewalk. She
yelled at me, calling me a young little bitch. Jess went
with her, so I didn't sleep very well last night. Jess is
still alive today. I'm alive too.


-------------------------------------------------------------


09-13-95 01:57:35

 thank you for mailing me back. Today is 
Tuesday, it is the night.
 Yesterday I did pick fruit. A job seems slow to come.  I
need money now, so I jumped off my ride at an orchard
yesterday. Four hours, alone in trees. Hot hot hot sun. The
apples are the small green ones, and they are being
picked for juice. This means they can be picked without fear
of bruising them. In theory this means faster picking. But
the apples are small and the trees thick. Anyways, I got
lots of sweet sun, i got my space, and I ate six apples. I
only made fifteen dollars for four straight hours of labour.
But that's fifteen dollars I didn't have before, and i got a
time of reflection.
 I moved into the flat today. I have a table on the balcony
for beading. All the sparkling glass colours spread out on a
white plastic patio table. I have one picture up, a postcard
from the North Trip/ A postcard of a full moon over blue
white snow and some cold igloos. It has only shades of stark 
night blue and white, very peacful to look into.
        So who knows about work. i had an interview today
with a family type restaurant. It's for a part time
waitressing, and it doesn't start for a week. Whatever. If I
don't find work right away, I do have a plug for picking
grapes at a vineyard in Kelowna. They start on the twenty
fifth, so by then if I'm still unemployed I'll be hungry and
desperate enough to break my back for four dollars an hour.
Right now I'm enjoying sleeping, playing guitar, beading,
cooking proper meals. 

        I have a bicycle! It is s one speed with a big
cushiony seat and a basket on the front! It's smooth and
sweet. I am mobile! 

       I am alive today, and hopefully tomorrow. I have
hands to work with and a voice to sing with. There is a
cherry tree in my backyard and a big green park closeby.
What more? Sweetness abounds!
   
     So of course I think about you. And while picking fruit
I realized Iam a little angry with you.I am more than a
fucking fragile dream. I am real. Why didyou make a pretty
movie out of our time together? Maybe the movie is over,but
I am still here.  I am not a video game. I am not a
comfortable memory.i am real. 

norah



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